When Troy Aikman Gives Autographs

He makes Sharpies look like tiny matchsticks.

When Troy Aikman Plays Golf

It gives "mini-golf" a whole new meaning.

When Troy Aikman Graduates From College

He can hold his diploma with two fingers.

When Troy Aikman Donates to Charity

He donates mini cans full of mini soup.

When Troy Aikman Plays Rock Band

He muffles the sound of the tiny guitar with his gargantuan hands.

When Troy Aikman's Lips Get Dry

He reaches for his favorite barbie-sized chapstick.

When Troy Aikman Wants Buffalo Wings

He has them specially made from miniature chickens.